leader

Leading Through Difficult Emotions

In adversity, we must be willing to face a formidable opponent: our own difficult emotions.

When faced with such an opponent, our first instinct might be to run, or to avoid. Engaging may feel dangerous, uncomfortable. Our discomfort or shame can cause us to lash out at unsuspecting bystanders, or deflect the difficult feelings onto others through blame.

In the moment, it might make us feel better.  We perhaps become defensive, convince ourselves it was something or someone else’s fault. We put the armour on, shield ourselves to stay safe from these difficult feelings. Or we push them down, hiding the feelings away and refusing to engage with them at all.  It’s a natural thing, for our brains to try and keep us safe.

But by deflecting, shielding, or suppressing, we are only delaying the hurt. We are not truly safe, and we may merely be perpetuating a long line of similar behaviours throughout our teams (whether those are work teams, sports teams, volunteer teams or families). Hurt people hurt people. It’s a vicious cycle.

What if, instead, we choose to be courageous?  What if we step onto the mat, and spar with those feelings? If we step into the discomfort, face our shame head-on?  Only this way do we learn and grow. 

This is definitely not the easy path, it is not a path of comfort, but this is the path of growth and improvement. This path requires vulnerability, it requires humility, strength and courage. It requires owning our part, admitting when we have taken emotionally driven actions and hurt other people. And we must treat ourselves and others with kindness, support and compassion as we walk it.

True leaders can encourage others to take this path, leading by example and with empathy. Helping them to understand that emotions are not ‘wrong’ or ‘bad’, they just ‘are’. But how we choose to act when we feel those emotions is important. 

Let’s understand this: success is not being happy all the time. And experiencing sadness, anger, fear or shame does not mean you are failing, or that you are weak. Difficult emotions are part of the human experience just as much as the pleasurable ones.  Let’s learn to learn from them.

The Vision Summit 2020

Vision Summit

Are you ready to make 2020 your year of vision? If so, we have an exciting (and free!) event to share with you. If you want to clarify and take action on your vision this year, I highly recommend you check out this upcoming FREE online summit

The Vision Summit is a 3-day online experience (Feb 20-22, 2020) designed to give you the insights and inspiration you need in order to clarify what you want, take steps toward it, and learn to trust and appreciate yourself and your journey.  I’m honoured to have been asked to take part – you can catch my interview on February 21st 2020!

Hosted by Heather Evans and Melissa Steginus, two coaches passionate about self-empowerment and manifestation, this event is designed to lead you to fully engage in your life. You’ll get powerful techniques and practices that you can apply right away to feel energized, empowered, and equipped to manifest your highest vision for your life and self. 

The details: The summit runs from February 20-22, 2020. During these 3 days, myself and 16 other speakers and practitioners will be sharing our journeys, lessons, and expertise on topics like: self-love, personal empowerment, manifestation, and so much more. You’ll get access to our interviews as well as practical tools and techniques, meditations, mindful movements, and exclusive bonus offers! If you’re interested, register here. Make sure to catch my interview on self-empowerment on Feb. 21st! 

You’ll hear deeply personal and moving stories and gain resources that address real-life issues, showcase vulnerability, and provide useful tools and approaches to nurture personal growth. From all the speakers and teachings in this free summit, you’ll get powerful techniques and practices that you can apply right away to: 

  • Stop demonizing your past self and begin to thank, love, and appreciate that person
  • Appreciate where you are on your journey and take steps forward from an empowered place of gratitude
  • Shift your perspective to believe you’re not broken or in need of fixing
  • Tune into yourself in body, mind, heart, and spirit while learning to love yourself unapologetically

Are you in? Mark your calendar and register here for the FREE ONLINE VISION SUMMIT! 

P.S. If you want to enjoy this online event with your friends, family, or colleagues who might also be interested and benefit, be sure to send them the link to this page to sign up too.